30 Jun What I tell my foster kiddos
Every semester I get to do something awesome.
I go to a group of kids who are about to age out of the foster care system, not having been adopted, and talk to them about money.
Looking at their faces always makes me feel like I’m about to explore unspoiled territory. Make no mistake, many of them have experienced extremely hard things. And now that they’re in their later teens, they have started to navigate their financial journeys. But for the most part, they’re not jaded! They haven’t yet had to rely on a paycheck or heard Uncle Sam knocking at the door. Most have big dreams and lots of excitement around the topic of money.
I have a specific script I use (because actor-habits die hard) and it occurred to me that it might be good to share with our broader tribe! Hopefully, you’ll find it as enlightening as I did when I wrote it years ago.
“I’m here to make you a millionaire. That’s right. At the end of this talk, I want you to walk out believing that you are perfectly capable of being a very wealthy person.
This is crucial. Because nothing I teach you today will have ANY effect if you don’t believe yourself to be capable of making it happen.
So everyone repeat after me: “I will be a wealthy person someday”. Excellent.
Now, I’ll be upfront and tell you that what I’m going to teach you today is not normal. I acknowledge and understand that many kids in the foster care system long for normalcy. I totally get it and respect that. However, when it comes to money I want you to shun that. Because the American normal when it comes to money just sucks.
For the most part, people don’t have enough money:
– to protect themselves from emergencies
– to get out of debt
– to stop working when they’re body has worn down
– to get OUT of a terrible relationship situation because they can’t afford to leave.
WHY? It’s not because people are stupid, I’ll tell you that.
Here’s my theory. It’s because people have a super crappy relationship with their money. They take it for granted, they obsess over it, they ignore it, they feel entitled to it, they allow it to walk all over them, they bad-mouth it, they complain about it, they horde it.
What if a friend treated you like that? What if they mostly ignored you? Or what if they were overwhelmingly obsessed with you? What if they didn’t want to share your friendship with anyone else? What if they acted like, no matter how they treated you, you’d just always be around?
There’s a specific word for this kind of relationship. It starts with “A” and rhymes with “Exclusive”.
Abusive. That’s right. You’d want to leave, wouldn’t you? And you should! In my experience, money is no different. We should treat it like a friend we care about. We should care about getting to know it. Treat it preciously, but not too much so. We should care enough to work out our differences when they come up and not just give up on it.
I want to teach you is that money isn’t just a numbers game. It’s not about being good with math, it’s not about knowing all the right stocks to pick, it’s all about your RELATIONSHIP. If that’s in good order, the rest will follow.